13 years on...

There is no bravado in hiding your feelings of love

There can only be anguish and a lifelong of regrets

We wished things can be so simple as to let go

And fall madly deeply and truly

For the inevitability of Iife’s outcome lingers above

And every minute every second we forget

That moment in time where passions unfold

To just love you simply, freely, undeniably.

To Be Human

To be Human.


A sentence so simple and yet so profound.

What defines us as a species? Is it our intellect, emotions or lack of, the ability to analyse or be empathic, to be discerning in morality and ethicality. Or is it freewill?

What makes us what we are, who we are? Is it our upbringing, culture, society, environment, religion? Or is it our destiny?

How do we live each day thinking there is always tomorrow? How do we feel when we see or read that people are dying from hunger, war, diseases, poverty? Why are we so different from the people who could live the lavish life and the people who are suffering from various atrocities?

What justifies our will to live, and live to will? What is our purpose as a Human Being?

The examination of such questions will yield no straight answers for everyone and yet the paradox to analyse and examine it in itself may provide a hint to some. In the same instance, the constant reflection of such questions may churn out more questions for many yet what most of us seek may merely be the resolution for acceptance. Acceptance to things we cannot change. Acceptance to life as we live it. Truly, is that not an excuse of guilt abandonment?

I wonder.

Anger Manangement Misdirection

Lately I've been seeing Anger Management classes being popped up as an offer for the masses at discounted rates.


I had brushed off the thought of such classes initially as a gimmick of sorts but when they started appealing much more often in the deals that I have subscribed to, it got me thinking: Are we having much more angry people on the streets in the place where I live now?

I do not doubt for a moment that the environment in which I live in can be highly stressful, very fast paced, and personal survival is key. Such factors may inevitably create resultant effects such as rage and anger from being in the rat race as part of a coping mechanism to survive or be ahead of the race. I have been seeing more cases of road rage, petty disputes in public, frivolous arguments and fights which I conclude are the effects to being in such a hectic society. We had stopped smelling the flowers by the sides because there aren't anymore but foul stenches of bodily fluids from the race that can only be described as vastly repugnant.

Anyhow I am not about to debate the cause and effects from living and facing such ordeals. My curiosity arises from what kind of people would I meet if I should enrol myself in such a class. Rhetorically I am certain the people in the classes have certain issues pertinent to managing their anger no less, but to someone like me who may have something more devious in thoughts, to feel better about myself through others' demise in such a class...is something that brought a sparkle in my grin.

I actually wondered how these people would behave and react in the class, should they not be satisfied with the class teachings, material, seating arrangements, classmates... it would be like having several mini Hulks in class or a WWF Royal Rumble live in front of me! It will all begin with finding out what makes them tick to start a chain reaction. How does anyone think it would a great idea to bring all these angry people in one room to discuss about their issues...

[Facilitator] Peter, let's talk about your problems...

[Peter] What problems?! I don’t have a problem!

[Facilitator] Ok relax Peter...could you tell us why you are here?

[Peter] I didn't want to be here! I was made to come here! Stop focusing on me and move on!

[John] Dude, just let it out and talk about it...

[Peter]Screw you buddy! I'm leaving...

[Facilitator] Peter, please stay, we will not talk about...

[John] Hey I'm trying to help you pal...

[Paul] Oh for God's sake John...

[Peter] I don't need your help, or anybody's else... if you like you can shove your help right up your...

[Facilitator] Ok class! Just take a deep...

[John] Hey you're really pushing it buddy!

[Paul] Give the man a break, I've been there...

[Facilitator]...breath!

[Peter] Oh yeah?! You can push it up yours further in!

[Paul] Woooo!

[Facilitator] Peter!

[John] That’s it pal! I have tolerated this long enough!

[Peter] Yeah? you can shove your tolerance...

[Facilitator] CLASS!!!!

[Mary] Here we go again...

*fist fight ensues... shoving Paul*

[Paul] Hey Asswipes! You're touching me! And I don’t like anyone touching me!

[Facilitator] STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!

*Paul is being shoved from the tussle*

[Mary] Guys c'mon! Cut it out!

[Paul] That's it! I'm really angry now!! ARHRHRHR!! (starts gorilla fist banging on chest)

[Mary] These commotion is making me very angry! Cut it out!

*Facilitator tries to break up fight to no avail while Paul joins in the fight*

*Mary starts shrieking and grabs objects to throw*

No doubt these are shallow thoughts of mine about the people with anger issues but I really do wonder how entertaining it can be...

The Time Machine and The Little Piggy

4 years have passed on.

I had forgotten what I have written here. Stories of my life. Before and during.

I revisited some of my posts to find them very interesting and intriguing. Some of them made me reflect on certain matters pertinent to worldly issues. What was going on through my mind and how I see issues retrospectively.
Most of all they made me remembered how I was feeling when I wrote all that. There were several pieces that really invoke emotions, feelings and a deep sense of nostalgia.

I had time-travelled.

It shouldn't come as a surprise now on why I should start writing again here.

My life changed dramatically over the years. I worked very hard to become what I envisioned myself to be. I do not think I am quite where I am supposed to be at, but I am humbled to see that my beginnings were simple and that I had indeed come a long way. I had my fair share of trials and tribulations. They brought me much pain, and sorrow.
Looking at them positively, they seemed necessary for me as a rite of passage to what I should be, and how I should be. In the same way, this process of refinement has brought along several sedimentary elements to my character which may or may not necessarily mean a good or bad thing. It seemed that Newton's Law of Physics were right again.

Two items stands out the most as a reminder to how I should continue to live my life philosophically and purposefully. I shall endeavour to talk about 1 in this post here:


A Figurine of a Pig
The pig has always been a symbol of greed and sloth. It is obvious that most people have the notion that pigs are greedy because of their seemingly insatiable appetite and reluctance to be of anything useful other than bacon for breakfast.
I have a different opinion about pigs. They are humble and unassuming. It is by this nature that pigs never had to defend their actions otherwise about being called a greedy slob. Pigs just look up at you halfway through their meal to take a sniff with their snouts and return them into the feeder trays.
In the same way, I have learned very early on in my life to be that pig. Not just because they are unassuming but also because by it, I would like to be reminded that humility is essential in my daily routines and especially through interactions with people from various walks of life. Then there is the other reason being derived from an old Chinese Cantonese adage: "The seemingly unassuming Pig will eat the fearsome Tiger".
This simple but wacky phrase that makes no sense at first has much to speak about itself. The Tiger has always been an icon that depicts fear, fierce-some, predatory instincts, dangerous, and everything else you can think of when you are standing face on with a Tiger in a cage. Nobody thinks anything about the Pig.
How do you "eat" a Tiger then? A Pig can no doubt not be able to do that, but a hunter in a Pig's skin suit can.
What is the relevance then?
In order to conquer or kill the Tiger, a hunter may not approach the Tiger directly as a hunter himself. In doing so, a hunter risk being detected and the Tiger would have fled. The Tiger having better natural instincts may in the same way detect the hunter way before the hunter finds the Tiger. The hunter may then be killed.
To dress up as a pig and look and behave like one, the hunter needs to cast aside any ego he may has as a hunter / predator and be looked upon as a prey. He will need to be amongst the prey. The hunter needs to be willing to suffer the humiliation of being looked upon as a "pig" and yet practice the same unassuming mannerism of one. The Pig is humble...except at the dinner table and at buffet lines...
As the Tiger draws near, the hunter needs not shed his pig skin suit. He simply draws his rifle and fires. The Tiger is wounded or dead. The "Pig" returns to be amongst the herd.

Many lessons can be drawn from such a plot but two important points can be brought up:
1. If you are the hunter, you need not reveal yourself to be the hunter so when the time comes for the kill, you will not be detected.
2. When you are that Pig, live simply like a Pig so that others may be inclined to think less about you or your prowess and that you can live sociably like the others.

All of us have different ways on dealing with Life especially in times of adversity. Most of these stems from Fear.
It really does not matter what it has to be as long as it gives you the strength to carry on and that you can be in one-ness with your surroundings...

Inside the Xbox 360 Rechargeable Battery

Being an ever inquisitive me, I would try to take apart anything without worrying about the price of the abused item.
I happened to have 2 Xbox 360 rechargeable batteries that died on me sometime back. I wanted to check if we have any recycling programmes for batteries before disposing of them but that would be another story.
Horror of horrors...


I was seriously half expecting some kind of proprietary equipment or at the very least to be using some kind of unlabeled batteries.
These my friends are off the shelf Sanyo AA size batteries with a 2100mAh rating.


To be honest, I do feel somewhat cheated initially because I could've just used any rechargeable batteries that I owned without having to pay an exorbitant S$17 for a pair of Sanyo which may retail for less than S$10.

On closer inspection, you will notice that there is a PCB board attached. The PCB clearly bears the name of the manufacturer Bannsan situated in China.

You will also notice that the main component of the PCB consists of an Atmel AT24C04N Serial EEPROM chip which I suspect will be utilized during the charging phase.

My most probable guess is that the tantalum capacitor is being used for decoupling.

Maybe I'm having too high an expectation on the Microsoft Xbox Team, but I hope I've uncovered some knowledge for those who are just curious to know what's inside of things. Perhaps in your country you may find a pair of Energizer, or Duracell for that matter.

I Love Dance!

I was just revisiting some of my previous posts, largely because I had to enter some tags and check certain links. I came across one which was about David 'Elsewhere' Bernal at Kollaboration, and I knew I had to mention some other dancers I came across whom I feel were really fantastic and extraordinary in what they do. Thanks to "So You Think You Can Dance" (SYTYCD) amongst many other dance and talent shows, many of such talents can be rewarded with much recognition and appreciation in what they've practiced and came to love.

Robert "Mr Fantastic" Murraine

Phillip "Pacman" Chbeeb

There are more videos of these pair that I've chosen, but I think what most people would like to see is a dance-off battle between these two and what SYTYCD wouldn't give.

Blog Makeover

Ever since Google acquired Blogger, much changes have taken place in terms of how bloggers would churn out content on their blogs. Some of these changes include the capability to store images directly on Blogger thereby enabling users the ease of uploading and directing a link for images in their postings. Previously, bloggers have to find an external host to store the images and create a URL link to display the images. There's also the additional feature of tags which many users are undecided on its usefulness as yet. More recently, there has been a template upgrade when users can choose to upgrade their current template into the various other new templates available. The best part in this upgrade is that the design layout of the blog can be customised easily to include the latest Google Gadgets or Widgets in a WYSIWYG display. Users without any HTML knowledge can also change or edit various components (such as Header, Sidebar, Footer, etc) within the blog to enhance its aesthetic appearance. I've also noticed that users have the option to categorise and choose various methods of diplaying their previous postings that would most certainly help readers find what they want quicker with great ease.

The bad news for me is that I've started my blog way before these changes took place. That is to say I had to revisit my old postings and add the images that are now missing due to various reasons. I also had to add tags to them in order to add value to my blog. The bad news really happened when I didn't know of all these major changes and I chose to do an "upgrade". That was when my entire blog layout really messed up. The upgrade was really a neat feature, but it wasn't for me. I like to be able to customise things such as my computer, my TV, my music playlist, my mood depending on the situation and people I'm with... ... I wasn't able to achieve that in the new layout or at least I didn't know how to. There seemed to be alotta scripting in the new design and I was definitely not very interested to fiddle with it. 

Perhaps I have to be grateful for this predicament where I screw-up my entire design because I chose an upgrade, unknowingly that many of my custom layout would not be there anymore. Therefore I had to 'start-over' with my design after reverting back to the classic mode. This drove me to upgrade and do a complete makeover for this blog. Revisit my old postings and uploading some photos, include tags, etc. More importantly, it gave me the excuse to document the bitching and rants when I seemed to have trouble finding the time for it ever since 2007.

As of now, I am still adding some nifty features and tweaking some designs constantly.