Puppy Love

Wendy Matthews Lyrics

You know how many people say that the first love is always the best love? I've always felt that there's not much truth in it till I experienced it myself. Ok, maybe I’m a lil' flirtatious and it’s good to know I’m still charming, but I was just chatting with my ex, when I felt so much within our conversation. It was like an old flame ignited (no pun intended) and it made me consider my options (ahhh...it sucks when you have choices). Anyway, we got along really well, and it was as if we've never missed a conversation in the last 12 years. Yep, that was how long we lost contact and MIA from. It wasn't until recently when I was just looking up for some old friends on the Friendster page that I located her. Still I was alil hesitant about establishing contact with her again since I thought she hated my guts for breaking her heart. It’s true, I think she would've killed me if we were in Sin City.
That has always been an enigma for her - "Why did I break up with her". I really had no idea, I’m not kidding, I really don't know. But after we talked about it for sometime, she suggested it could be because we were young then and didn’t know how to handle the fame, popularity, and love. It struck my heart like a syringe into my gums. She was right. I didn’t know how to handle it. Love, it was such a complex complication that even till this age, or even for this era, it affects everyone with its perpetual perplexity of mixed emotions streaming, aching, sinking from the heart. The heart, having a mind of its own speaks for what we feel, what we like, and what’s ideal. She had the impression that I broke up with her for another girl, which was totally not the case. It was great when we clarified about this, and she was, in fact, relieved.
Just a little background on how we started, ran and ended our relationship, if my memory serves me right: I started writing letters, ok fine, love letters to her professing my interest in her, mind you I was quite the romantic, captivating her with my love poems. As it progresses, we exchanged love letters...ahem...erm... through friends. We were really really shy we couldn't see each other. It was just a glance at a time, coz our faces would flush with embarrassment if we look at each other longer than that. So that was how we had our relationship. Through love letters. Subsequently I can't remember how I got her number, and we started to talk on the phone, still that didn’t make us any less shy on bumping into each other. Everyday she would board a bus home, and I would be there at the bus stop looking nonchalant. And as soon as the bus starts moving with her in it, I would turn and wave goodbye just in time to see her wave back to me with a smile. That was cheesy, but sweet. Kinda like what I’m eating now - honey barbeque cashews. It ended one day when I think I didn’t 'see her off at the bus stop'. As simple as it came, as easy it ended. Guilt is still written all over my soul as I recall the series of unfortunate events that precedes our presence of being in the same school.
She turns out to be quite the role model for me. Doing voluntary work, working in a missions organisation, studying theology... it was something I like to do myself, and see someone I love in it. But I guess God wouldn’t allow that to happen coz he knows I’m just too sinister in leaving a trail of broken hearts behind. I'm glad she's single now, her husband-to-be ditched her coz he lost his balls. I felt so sad for her to hear how all her boyfriends have cheated her (I know what you're thinking, no, I’m not one of them), but at the same time, disturbingly happy that she’s single.
I bet our relationship could've lasted if I had been able to handle such emotions then. I bet she would've been happier if we were still together, or I’ve chosen a later time to break up with her. I bet she’s leading a happier life now that she’s liberated of how love can hurt. I bet she didn’t know the day we broke off, I was crying over her.