To Fantaghiro...my Love

I asked one day if she was cheating on me... if she has another guy. She denied...
I wanted so much for her to just tell me... ‘Yes’...the truth. To tell me that she is seeing another man...because then I would be able to find that I may still accept her back.I understand the concept that we aren’t perfect... we're fallen creatures after all...We have desires... temptations... and most of all... a fleeting heart… and I wanted her to tell me, yes... she did it... and she was sorry for it...but she didn’t.
I was still clinging on to the hope that she will, for I was able to forgive, as I so did deny myself before and I asked again...and again she said no...The third time I asked the same question....as if to say.... "Please tell me the truth... I beg you to...." But just like the stone that sits amongst the rocks... our hopes were there, but differently aligned....hers was perhaps the hope that I was merely testing her... whilst mine was a futile hope of desperation. So again she denied.
I was certain now that she is not the one for me...and slowly I revealed to her of the man I heard, the man that bought her gifts, the man she leaves messages to, and the man that kisses her and says he loves her and she kept silent for a long while...and said... gently....
“....so you knew about this all along....”
With the breath that was taken from me as I listen to her every pronoun... I stumbled to say...
“I knew about this... for a long time now....”
So she began to tell me of this man, who is married, have kids, rich... and charming. And she went on to say that he was as charming as me... and it was what swept her away from me. She drifted away from me thinking he can provide what I lacked...Money, the luxury, stability, and perhaps power...she was right...although I was rich in love... and giving love and not expecting it in return... I was penniless in security, of providing her with the material wealth that she craves... I was....devastated...I couldn’t understand why the women of these days are driven by the possessions they can’t keep for life... I couldn’t understand why they were driven to think that it is something that they need in order to survive. I’ve always been the fool to think that love...will keep us alive....I was so fucking stupid....
I guess I still am....I’m foolish....and have always been... I love... only to love in return...but love was like a gust of wind... that stays only to caress you soul... which leaves u wanting for more... but like the wind that has always been... it never stays...I believe if love was meant to be... it could be.... I love fairy tales... just like you. I love to be in this world where what we do last only as much as to what we believe to be. We find love, stay in love... and we end there... never having to experience the pain of hurting each other, the madness of the material possession that many live to die for, never having to experience what growing old feels like... I give all that up, knowing I can love someone for that tiny moment... in just a flash... but an expansion in time of our feelings for each other... knowing that it is just what we need... it is what we seek... it was what we feed. I give everything up because I want to stay in love forever, an eternity that spans in my time sphere...of a make belief, a fantasy I created... a living epitome of what I believe love should be...endless... timeless... everlasting...almighty....
I crave the love and affection of a true love as I crave the very seed that makes us walk on this cursed land... I would love to make everything new... for just one chance...
If I can live that life... of another dimension... another galaxy... another world... where love was pure, sacred... and most importantly... needed...
I need love like the wind needs to breeze... through the valleys and hills and plains and mountains that God created... the sea, the beaches and the ocean... the forest the jungle the greens... and the rain, the thunder and the lightning...but just like the wind as it is... Love... is only a four letter word... take one away and you're left with three... further subtract and you're left with two... the last one standing is the letter 'E'...
It wasn’t Eternity as I want to believe...
It was the End... the end of a fantasy a boy once had... the end of a dream, that can never...surpass reality...